I had to leave my children behind - Haddi's story

Haddi, from Gambia (pictured above at this year’s North East Charity Awards), had to leave everything behind, including her family, when she fled her home country. She was homeless when she first came to Action Foundation. But after living in one of our supported accommodation properties, she has now moved into independent living and is excited to be starting her first job in the UK in 2025.

It’s an unimaginable form of torture for any mother, the thought of having to leave your children.

Yet seven years ago, that’s exactly what Haddi, one of our former Accommodation clients, had to do when she was forced to flee for her life from the Gambia in West Africa.

“I left my children behind and my mum as well. I left my daughter when she’d just turned 16 and my son was 11. They have grown up on their own without their mother and father. It’s so hard, it’s like they are orphans.”

Her first Christmas in Newcastle as the only Muslim in a house-share was almost unbearable. “I was alone at home without my family around me – and that’s how I started volunteering with WERS (the West End Refugee Service) making Christmas parcels.”

After a year of being housed by the Home Office, her asylum appeal was rejected and she had nowhere to live, so in October 2018 she began ‘sofa surfing’ while she lodged a fresh claim.

Through WERS, she was referred to Action Foundation. “I explained to the staff I needed somewhere to stay and they contacted Action Foundation.”

Haddi shared a house with three other women in one of our Housing properties for destitute asylum seekers. However, when the house was being renovated and she had to move out, one of our Language & Learning volunteers, Hilary Elder (in the picture above with Haddi), kindly stepped in to host Haddi in her own home.

“Action Foundation is so great in so many ways, helping people to get accommodation. In that house you are free to do whatever you want to do.”

Vital support

Action Foundation not only houses people, they also assign a support worker to every resident. Haddi’s support worker registered her for hardship payments and put her in touch with a specialist mental health team at the charity, Freedom from Torture.

She was also helped to engage with a new legal representative and Haddi finally gained refugee status in March. Newly recognised refugees have just 28 days to find somewhere to live so we referred her to move-on support with the local council and, because she was deemed to have priority needs, Haddi was given emergency accommodation.

Haddi has recently moved into independent living – her own home at last – and has found a job with a care company in Newcastle. Aside from not having her family around her, not being allowed to work was one of the hardest things for Haddi as an asylum seeker.

She had been a qualified nurse in Gambia before setting up her own business, managing a licensed clinic with a doctor and midwife.

“I really enjoy helping people and really enjoyed nursing as well. It was my dream since I was young. I feel happy doing it as well.”

“It was really hard to be seven years in a society where you are not useful, where you can’t contribute anything. You are not even counted, you are nothing, you can’t do anything with your life. You don’t even have an identity – that feels so hard, it’s so difficult to live like that.”

“At one point I was thinking when I left my country it was hard. I came here for safety. I got safety but at the cost of losing who I am, that was really hard.”

Haddi’s support worker said:

“It is so important to have a safe place to live when preparing for a fresh claim. This shows the transformative journey that an asylum seeker can take when they are supported and do not have to worry about where they are going to sleep tonight. I am so pleased Haddi now has legal status in the UK and can move forward to start work and live in her own home.”

Haddi is continuing to be supported by Freedom from Torture and hopes to be finally reunited with her children.

She says: “My biggest wish in 2025 is to reunite with my family. My daughter is now 23 and my son, 18. I haven’t seen my kids for seven years so that would be my biggest, biggest, biggest wish.”

I had to leave my children behind – Haddi’s story